What Stay At Home Moms Need From Their Husbands

There are many things that we stay-at-home moms need from our husbands.

Most of you all know that I have two smaller children 3 and under and have been a stay at home going on 4 years on now.

And I don’t think I would have made it this far in my stay-at-home mom journey had it not been for the support of my husband.

My husband has been involved and supportive through my pregnancies and childbirth.

Even after both of the girls were born, my husband was helpful through the newborn phase and continues to be very involved in the parenting of both girls.

Which is something that I feel extremely grateful for.

Something that I have said numerous times on this blog is that as a stay-at-home mom, I feel the burden of maintaining everything at home since I’m home.

Whether it is making sure the girls are fed and entertained or managing to keep our home mostly clean with a baby and 3-year-old.

I feel this sense of responsibility because my husband works hard outside of the home so the least I can do is try to manage the inside of our home.

I quickly realized how overwhelming this mindset was and how it lead me to experience mom burnout.

As much as I strive to do it all, I can’t.

At least not by myself.

This is where my husband comes in and he does a great job of relieving some of the stress I experience as a 24/7 stay-at-home mom.

I know some husbands and partners feel at a loss about what they can do to help a stay-at-home mom so I want to provide some advice to husbands of stay-at-home moms.

Here is what stay-at-home moms need from their husbands.

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Why Won’t My Husband Help Me As A Stay At Home Mom?

Before I get into how husbands can support stay-at-home moms, let’s talk about this.

Why won’t my husband help me as a stay-at-home mom?

This is something that I have heard of far too many times in the stay-at-home mom community.

Their husbands or partners do not help with anything that pertains to the home or even the kids.

And there are many reasons that this happens.

The obvious reason is that some men do not feel the need to help because they are the ones working long hours outside of the home.

This was obviously a thing a long time ago but many still have this mindset today.

I don’t agree with this mindset that some men have that they are not responsible for taking care of the home or kids.

Personally, I believe if you live in the same home as your significant other and have kids that live within that same home, then you are just as responsible for your kids and home.

But I am also aware that since I’m the parent at home the majority of the time, I can do my part in taking care of and maintaining our home most of the time.

Not because my husband thinks so.

But because that is what my family needs me to do.

My family needs me to take care of our girls and maintain our home in order to function in a way that benefits us all.

My family benefits from being me being home with our girls.

That is the mindset that you should have as a stay-at-home mom.

Something I would encourage many couples to do before marriage and having children is discuss what their expectations are when it comes to parenting.

I know that it can be difficult if you get pregnant unexpectedly or a quick decision is made for someone to stay home.

But discuss what things will look while you are home with the kids.

Some husbands and partners are at a complete loss on what they can do to support their wives and partners as stay-at-home moms.

This is where I can come in and I want to offer my advice on how husbands can support stay-at-home moms in their lives.

Let’s talk about what stay-at-home moms need from their husbands.

What Stay At Home Moms Need From Their Husbands

Your Involvement With The Kids

The very first thing that most stay-at-home moms need from their husbands is their involvement with the kids.

As I consistently say on here, stay-at-home moms don’t get to clock.

We are in mom-mode 24/7.

We don’t get breaks from being moms like how other moms would if they were working.

So when my husband is off of work, it is extremely helpful when he takes the girls off my hands for a little bit.

Whether it is in the evenings such as doing the bathtime routine or the bedtime routine.

Or on the weekends, taking the girls to a fun place such as the park or arcade.

These moments give me a breather which I need at times.

Your Help With Household Chores

The next thing your husband can do is help with household chores.

As I mentioned above, I take on the majority of the cleaning in the house since I’m mostly home, but that doesn’t mean that my husband is excluded from doing housework.

If you have been keeping up with me here on the blog, then you already know that I have a daily cleaning routine that I follow that keeps our home mostly tidy and clean throughout the week

In that post, I mention that we have a day where we do a deeper clean which usually falls on Saturdays for us.

On this day, my husband takes on some of the household chores such as vacuuming and mopping all the floors in our home and cleaning one of the bathrooms.

He will even take on the dishwashing and cleaning of the kitchen when I’m cooking on the weekends.

Once again, these acts are so helpful for stay-at-home moms because we usually take on the majority of the cleaning so any help with household chores is appreciated.

It makes most of us feel like less of a maid when our significant others help out around the house too.

Your Gratitude

One of the most things that a husband can do for a stay-at-home mom is express his gratitude and appreciate her sacrifice.

For some of us, becoming stay-at-home moms was not something that we had planned on doing.

At least that is my story.

If you have read about me, then you know that I was pursuing my Master’s degree in marriage and family therapy.

I had planned on getting started in my career until I found out I was pregnant.

After discussing childcare options, we agreed that it would be better if I stayed home for the time being to raise our girls.

So instead of seeing clients and practicing therapy once I graduated, I became a stay-at-home mom to our baby girl.

I essentially put my career on hold to take care of our babies.

My husband has never once been condescending towards me for being a stay-at-home mom and has repeatedly expressed his appreciation for what I do at home and for taking care of our girls.

His verbally expressing of his gratitude, not only makes me feel good but motivates me to continue making life easier for my family.

Your Support Of Her Goals & Aspirations

Along with their gratitude, we need your support for our goals and aspirations.

Since I’m not currently seeing clients and conducting therapy, I had to find new dreams and hobbies to help me feel more fulfilled as a stay-at-home mom.

Which is how the emergence of this blog started.

I started this blog when my first daughter was 18 months old as a creative outlet by offering advice and tips to other stay-at-home moms who are struggling with motherhood.

And 2 years later, this blog has grown and become something that I work on daily and even earn a little bit of money from.

I remember telling my husband when I first thought about starting a blog.

He was very encouraging and supportive of me starting one.

He ultimately wanted me to be happy and if starting a blog would make me happy, then he wanted me to pursue it.

Just like we support our husbands as working parents by taking care of the kids, it is nice to have their support in our own endeavors.

Your Presence

And the last thing that stay-at-home moms need from their husbands is you.

Your presence itself.

After a long day of taking care of the kids, your adult presence is something that we want.

My husband had spent 5 years of our lives together before I got pregnant and had our first baby.

Having a baby changes things and of course, our relationship dynamic changed as well.

It was no longer just us.

We had become a family of 3 and then we went from having one child to two.

It is easier to fall into mom and dad mode versus husband and wife mode and we are guilty of doing this sometimes.

A great tip that James and Esther from The Family Pillar suggest is dating your spouse.

Whether it is actual date nights outside of the house or having them at home.

As long as we are getting to spend time with you.

We love our kids, but we love you too.

Your Turn

Well, that is mostly what stay-at-home moms need from their husbands. At least this is what I need as a stay-at-home mom from my husband. What other advice would you all offer to husbands of stay-at-home moms? Let me know in the comments and while you are still here, check out my previous post below. Until next time!

• Read More: Laundry Routine For Our Family Of 4

Love,

Just Jass