Feel Fulfilled As A Stay At Home Mom
How many moms can truly say they feel fulfilled as a stay at home mom?
If you would have asked me that a couple of years ago when my daughter was born, I would have definitely said absolutely not.
In fact, I was struggling with postpartum depression and just feeling lost.
There isn’t exactly a manual on how to be a stay-at-home mom and there is not any way to even know if you are even doing it right.
The only rule that I know for sure that would be in that manual if it were to exist is to keep the kids alive.
Which is what most of us moms are doing anyway.
But along with keeping the kids alive, the other unspoken rules of being a stay-at-home mom are that you have to have a clean house at all times and have 3 homemade meals a day.
But the problem that often happens when you are home is this mundane cycle of doing the same thing every day.
You get tired of changing diapers, washing dishes, and chasing the kids the majority of the day.
And if you are like me, I even had this thought of “Is this really it for me?”
I knew that I was more than just a mom, but I just didn’t feel like it.
I had fallen into what people like to call a stay-at-home mom rut.
But I knew I couldn’t stay there.
When it comes to staying encouraged as a stay-at-home mom, you guys know I’m all about it.
We can still find purpose and feel fulfilled as a stay-at-home mom and here is how I have been doing it.
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Why Are Stay At Home Moms Not Feeling Fulfilled?
In order to feel fulfilled as a stay-at-home mom, we need to address why stay-at-home moms are experiencing a lack of fulfillment.
Why are stay-at-home moms not feeling fulfilled?
That was most definitely the case with me.
When I got pregnant with my daughter, I was in my second to last semester of graduate school finishing up my degree in Family Therapy.
The plan was for me to finish school and then get started working in my career field that I have been going to school for the last 3 years.
That was what I thought my purpose was.
Well, plans changed quickly when I got pregnant and the realization hit my husband and me that we were starting our family a little sooner than expected.
We both agreed towards the end of my pregnancy that I stay home for the time being to raise our daughter.
I never once thought that I would be a stay-at-home mom.
And then, when I became one, I realized that I sucked at it.
Being home all day with a crying baby that was constantly needing my attention was not good for me mentally.
I just did not feel like myself and that was when the mom guilt would set in.
I was used to having adult interaction, going to a job, and having my own income and all of that changed when I became a stay-at-home mom.
My entire identity was traded in for one word: Mom.
Does this sound familiar to anyone else?
If so, you are not alone.
There are so many moms who are home struggling with finding purpose as stay-at-home moms.
You do have a choice though.
You can either keep feeling the way that you do or figure out how to thrive as a stay-at-home mom.
If you choose the latter of the options, keep reading to learn how you can feel fulfilled as a stay-at-home mom.
Feel Fulfilled As A Stay At Home Mom
I am going to dive into 5 ways that you can feel fulfilled in being a stay-at-home mom.
1. Have A Solid Routine
I know what you are thinking.
“Jas, didn’t you just say that part of the reason that moms feel unfulfilled is that they are doing the same things every day?”
And you are correct because I did.
But I can guarantee you that if you don’t have some kind of routine or schedule to manage your days, then you are really going to lose it and have more than a few bad mom days.
I preach often on here about taking back control and control is having an idea of what your day is going to look like.
When you know, then you can plan accordingly.
My daughter has a daily routine that she follows for the most part and it keeps us all sane and knowing what to somewhat expect on a daily basis.
2. Keep Dreaming And Working On Your Goals
As you all know from above, I thought I would be doing something different.
I thought I would be sitting across from clients and practicing counseling with a clinic right now, but plans changed.
Just because I’m home now, doesn’t mean that I cannot pursue other things and find new things that fuel my passion for helping others.
And this is where blogging came into play for me.
Starting a blog allowed me to connect with other women who may be struggling in motherhood as well.
Through my writing and experiences, I have learned that what I feel at times is quite normal and it fuels me to continue writing.
By sharing what has worked for me, there is a chance that it can help someone else.
You never know.
Maybe your new passion is what you should have been pursuing all along and being a stay-at-home mom allowed you to pursue that opportunity.
3. Carve Out Me-Time
This is really important and another tip I emphasize a lot on here.
In order to shift from mom-mode, you need time just for yourself.
You may have to squeeze it in during naps or in the evening, but you need to carve out some me-time where you can just be yourself.
And just unwind into what makes you happy whether that be taking a relaxing bath or getting your nails done.
Yes, if binge-watching a couple of episodes of your favorite show brings you joy then have at it.
Feeling fulfilled comes from within which means that it will come from within yourself.
If you are interested in some more ideas to do when you carve out some me time, then check out that post below.
- Read More: Self-Care Ideas For Stay At Home Moms
4. Nurture Adult Interactions
When I became a stay-at-home mom, I did not realize the lack of adult interaction I would get.
My husband worked long hours that would often feel like he was gone the majority of the time.
Neither of our families lives close to us so having the grandparents around more was not an option.
And living in a new state that I had only been in for a couple of years, I did not have many people who I would call my really good friends.
So it was a tough place to be in.
I did not realize how unfulfilling it was to not have someone to talk to besides my daughter.
Between feeling burned out as a mom and starting to resent my husband for getting time away from our daughter.
When you are with the kids all day, you need someone to talk to about adult things.
With the current state of the world, in-person interaction is a little hard to come by, but that is why social media has been huge during this time.
There are a lot of Facebook support groups that you can connect with and begin engaging in real conversations with real women.
But if social media isn’t your thing, pick up the phone and call someone.
Don’t be ashamed if you call your mom more than anything else.
My mom and I have a great relationship and if there is anyone who can relate to motherhood, it is your mom.
Lastly, nurture the relationship with your significant other.
You both are a team and your children are counting on you both to guide them.
When it comes down to it, it should be us against the world, not us against each other.
5. Seek Help
What I said above leads me to my next point which is to seek help when it starts to feel overwhelming.
You may be a stay-at-home mom, but you do not have to go at this alone.
There is this perception that stay-at-home moms are like superwomen and that we can be in several places all at once.
When in reality, we are struggling to just keep our heads above the water.
And at the rate that some of us go out, it is no wonder that some of us utterly feel like we are drowning in depression while being home.
Or worse refuse the help when someone reaches their hand out.
It does not make you a bad mom for taking the hand.
You can take the hand and your kids will still love you as much as they did before you took it.
If your husband is trying to make himself available to help, let him.
If you are not ok, stop saying “I’m fine” and bottling up your emotions within you.
For those who need someone to say it, here you go.
You are deserving of help.
Your Turn
Now that I have dived into 5 ways to feel fulfilled as a stay-at-home mom, I want to hear from you now. How are do you find purpose while being home with the kids? Would you consider yourself to be a happy stay-at-home mom? If you are looking for more resources in finding fulfillment and being a happy stay-at-home mom, check out these posts from The Pragmatic Parent and Practical Mommy Life that I love. I would love to hear from you in the comments and while you are still here, check out my previous post below. Until next time!
- Read More: My 2-Year-Old Daughter’s Toddler Bedtime Routine
Love,
Just Jass
Jasmyn Heard
Hi! I'm Jasmyn or "Jas" as everyone likes to call me! I'm a stay-at-home girl momma to 2 beautiful little girls and married to my wonderful husband whom I have been with for 10 years! I'm a book and tea lover and when I'm not working on my blog, you can find me sharing bits and pieces of our lives on Instagram or me strolling down the aisles of Target and DSW! I'm the mama blogger behind the blog, Just Jass, where I offer parenting advice, productivity tips, and positive mental health habits from my perspective as mama of 2. Why don't you join me and my Jassy Fam as we navigate this thing called "mom-life" together!
36 Comments
Crystal @ Simply Full of Delight
Great Article! I definitely agree that SAHMs need to keep dreaming, keep working on their goals, and just keep pivoting until they find something that fills them up, fills their bucket during this amazing but also hard journey of motherhood.
Jasmyn Wilkins
Thank you so much! And it is very true to find something to fill up our buckets because we are constantly giving and it can feel like we aren’t receiving anything back. When we do something for ourselves, our tanks are therefore replenished and ready to take on mom-life!
Mitylene
awesome insight
Jasmyn Wilkins
Thank you! Glad that you enjoyed it!
Sophie Cannon
Though not a stay at home mom now, It def something my fiance and I have talked about in our near future. I LOVE how you’ve kept a true sense of self and are driven to what makes you happy!
Jasmyn Wilkins
It is so easy to fall into this rut of just being a mom when you become a mom and it is even worse when you decide to be a stay at home mom! It is very important to remember who you are and remain true to yourself! I’m glad that you enjoyed this post!
Joe @ Mini Riches
My wife is a SAHM and we have 5 children. I know she can always benefit from some her-time. 🙂 Dreaming and working on goals is something we do together 🙂
Jasmyn Wilkins
That is great! I’m so glad that you both are still dreaming and working towards your goals!
Grassroots Gardening
Great article. I. A stay a home mom myself who’s been looking for purpose too. I alao finally found it in blogging! Adult time and routine are the hardest for me.
Jasmyn Wilkins
Blogging has been huge for and has filled with me such joy to do! And if routine is hard, start with figuring out your child’s routine and plan around that. I normal blog during my daughter’s naptime and after she goes to bed around 8:30 every night.
Lisa
Great Article! It’s definitely disorienting to go from working full time to stay at home mom drowning in diapers and feedings. Thanks for the tips to keep dreaming and find time to connect with your spouse and even other friends. 🙂
Jasmyn Wilkins
You are very welcome and I’m so glad that you enjoyed this post!
Crystal
I’m not a stay at home mom but I’m considering quitting working when my husband and I have kids. I teach currently and it doesn’t make since to me to send my kids off with someone else while I spend time with other people’s kids all day. This is great advice and good to hear the reality of a SAHM considering I don’t know many others who share this viewpoint, especially women of color. Thanks for this!
Jasmyn Wilkins
You are very welcome and I’m so glad that you enjoyed this post!
rachel hawkes
It can be hard facing that transition to parenthood. Having clear goals certainly helped me.
Jasmyn Wilkins
I couldn’t agree more! Having clear goals will definitely give you purpose and something to work towards!
Nadia
I feel like you are telling my story! I was definitely feeling lost and depressed after I quit my job. I knew it was the right choice but I felt like I was losing part of my identity when I gave up my career, even though I was gaining a new one as a mom! Great article, thanks!
Jasmyn Wilkins
You are very welcome and I’m so glad that you were able to relate!
Donna Garrison
So much complexity moving into the role of mother, let alone a SAHM, especially if it was unanticipated. All the suggestions mentioned are so key, something i never realized until I too was a SAHM. Staying connected to other adults and asking for help were big ones for me, but was sometimes hard in those overwhelmed moments. Luckily I found some wonderful mom friends who were in the same boat, to share the joys and challenges with, along with the occassional night out without the little monkey helped a lot.
Jasmyn Wilkins
It really can be complicated but everything you just named really does help! I’m glad that you were able to find some people to talk to and have someone to watch the little one!
Sara
Great post! Our plans don’t always go according to how we imagine but it’s always important to find self fulfillment in some way!
Jasmyn Wilkins
It really is! I’m so glad that you enjoyed this post!
Ellie
Thank you for this post! I have been struggling to find my purpose as a new mom, and these were some great tips.
Jasmyn Wilkins
You are very welcome and I’m glad that you found this post to be helpful!
Subarna
Great article to feel motivated!! Keep sharing positivity. I really enjoyed your article, all the ideas work to feel great. I also beleive maintaing a routine is very essential. Thanks for sharing.
Jasmyn Wilkins
Thank you so much! I’m so glad that you enjoyed this post!
Lucy
What an insightful article which will help so many women feel more empowered!
Jasmyn Wilkins
Thank you and I’m so glad that you enjoyed this post!
Aliceee Traveler
This is a fantastic article! I wish I would have read it some years ago.
I was a stay at home mom for 2 years and the guilt and pressure to do all home chores, cook and spend all the time with the baby was overwhelming. I got help from my parents and slowly slowly after organizing my time better I managed to overcome it.
Jasmyn Wilkins
I completely agree with you! It can definitely feel overwhelming and then here comes the guilt when you feel like you are not doing it right. I’m really glad that enjoyed this post and were able to overcome those feelings!
Bjha Ranjan
This has been my dilemma for long and coping up with stayhome idea was difficult. I have done it and I love the additional ideas I saw listed in your article. Very positive outlook, thanks for sharing.
Jasmyn Wilkins
You are very welcome and I’m glad that you were able to find some of the ideas I mentioned helpful!
Danielle Nay
This is a great read! My husband is a stay at home dad and I honestly don’t know how he or any parent does it. It’s so hard!! I think this post can be helpful for any stay at home parent so that they don’t fully lose themselves 🙂
Jasmyn Heard
It is definitely hard and it is so easy to lose yourself in just being a stay-at-home parent! I’m glad that you enjoyed this post!
Malaika Archer
As a stay-at-home mom, I can relate to everything you wrote in this post. What compounds everything for me is all 4 of my children are doing online school. My 9 and 10 year old are ok and require little supervision, but my twin 4-year-old girls are next to impossible, as you can imagine.
Jasmyn Heard
Yes! These younger children as independent as they try to be still require our attention which can make things harder for sure! I’m glad that you enjoyed this post!