Mom Guilt
Parenting,  Personal Development

It’s Time To Ditch The Mom Guilt For Good

May 14, 2020 / 30 Comments
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Alright, mommas, it’s time to ditch the mom guilt.

I refuse to let myself wallow in shame as a stay-at-home mom and wife, because I know I am doing the best I can.

And I know I am not the only one who feels this way.

Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves to be these superwomen who do everything and run ourselves into the ground doing so?

Of course, we want the best for children and our families. We want to make sure they are thriving and doing well in whatever they pursuing.

Yet for some odd reason, if things are not up to par with what we think should be happening then we blame ourselves.

If you have ever felt this way, then this is what many have begun to call mom guilt. It affects many moms today and has had the ability to make many of us doubt our ability to parent our children.

Well, I am DONE feeling guilty as a mom.

And I know many of you are ready to be done feeling guilty as a mom, too.

I like to utilize affirmations to drive out any mom guilt or anxiety and I want to share those with you all so you can say these things to yourself when you feel the mom guilt creeping in.

It’s time to ditch the mom guilt for good and here is how we are going to do it.

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Mom guilt

What Is Mom Guilt?

If you are a first-time mom, you may be wondering what in the world is mom guilt?

I know I didn’t know what mom guilt was until after I had my daughter. Then next thing I knew, I was knee-deep in it.

For those who are unfamiliar with the term mom guilt, it literally means what it says. You feel guilty for not being a “good” enough mom.

All these Instagram and YouTube moms present these perfect lives with perfect children and you feel like crap because your life does not look like theirs.

They don’t show the tantrums and meltdowns that are happening behind the scenes and because we don’t see it, we assume that they have motherhood completely together all the time.

Comparison will rob anyone of their joy and by comparing ourselves to these women, guilt can often begin to settle into our own lives.

Other examples of mom guilt are:

  • Letting your kid have too much screen time
  • Going out and having fun without your kids
  • Working outside of the home and putting your children in childcare
  • Ordering takeout instead of cooking at home
  • Arguing in front of your kids

All of these things just happen sometimes and this does not make you a bad mom. But, somehow we have been conditioned to feel guilty if we engage in any of this behavior.

Well ladies (and gentlemen who share this with a mom), it’s time to get rid of the mom guilt.

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Affirmations For Overcoming Mom Guilt

Now that I have touched on what mom guilt is and can look like, I want to provide some affirmations for overcoming that mom guilt.

Most of the guilt and anxiety that we feel are due to the negative thoughts that we have about ourselves.

If you have been following along on the blog, then you know I like to utilize positive self-talk to reframe those negative thoughts.

Check out these 3 affirmations that I like to tell myself when I start feeling that guilt and anxiety well up in me.

You Are Enough

From the moment, a baby is born into the world, they know exactly who their mom is. They know her smell. Can sense her presence. And instantly feel comforted by her touch.

You can look at yourself in the mirror and doubt whether you are fit to be a mom, but that baby will not.

Your baby knows that you are fit, you just have to believe that yourself.

I used to feel so much guilt over what kind of mom I was being to my daughter and was stressed by all the milestones that she was supposed to hit by a certain time.

Whether she was getting the right amount of food and sleep. All those things that books and the internet tell you to do instead of following my own gut.

I found myself questioning myself a lot wondering how my mom handled having me as a baby and making it look easy with her granddaughter while I struggled at first.

Of course, she has the experience, but it still made me feel like something was wrong with me. But I knew I had to stop with that mindset.

I am enough.

And you are enough too. Just you. They don’t need anyone else. They just need you. All you have to do is show up and be there.

Yes, they need you to take care of them. But, they also need you to hide behind when the world starts to feel too big because to them, the world is really big.

But as long as you are in it, they feel that much more comfortable exploring it.

You Are DOING Enough

There is no such thing as a perfect mother.

I know some of us look at our own selfless moms and think they were pretty close, but they weren’t absolutely perfect.

Some gave up their dreams to stay home to help you pursue yours. Others even worked overtime to ensure that you never missed a meal.

When I made the decision to breastfeed my daughter, I did not really have anyone to turn to in my family in regards to that type of experience.

Luckily my mother-in-law had breastfed all of her children, so she was able to give me some tips. But it still did not stop me from having my doubts about whether or not I could continue to breastfeed my daughter successfully.

Fast forward 18 months and my daughter had weaned herself and we did have a successful breastfeeding experience.

When I think back to how I used to feel, I can’t believe I had all those doubts. I turned out fine and my baby girl turned fine as well.

This is just a reminder that whatever you are doing to make sure your kids are happy and safe is enough.

You are doing enough.

This may be letting them watch a little extra TV every now and then. Getting McDonald’s a night when you just don’t feel like cooking. Or even leaving them in the crib a few more minutes to sleep in a little longer.

Your kids will be fine and they will still love you on the days where you only put in 90% instead of the full 100.

You Matter

If you find yourself yelling at your kids or significant other more often than you like, you are likely experiencing burnout.

Of course, you are going to feel guilty every time you yell at the people who you care about. I know I do, especially if they didn’t do anything to me that warrants that kind of reaction.

I talk so much about the importance of taking care of yourself in this blog because it IS really important.

One of the main reasons, I struggled with postpartum depression was because I devoted every single second of the day to my daughter and let myself fall to shambles.

Well, it’s about time that I stop being in shambles.

I’m going to confront this mom guilt head-on and let it know that I matter. And you do too.

No more feeling guilty for taking care of myself. I refuse to constantly succumb to those feelings and will try to do better.

I am more than just a mom and it is time that I start thriving with this new role.

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Your Turn

Now it’s your turn. I have told you all about my experiences with mom guilt and what I do to pull myself out of that mindset. Do I think you can completely get over all the feelings of mom guilt? No, but we shouldn’t let it run us either. How do you all navigate those feelings of mom guilt? Let me know down in the comments below. And while you are still here, check out my previous blog post below. Until next time!

Love,

Just Jass

Mom Guilt
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Hi! I'm Jasmyn or "Jas" as everyone likes to call me! I'm a stay-at-home girl momma to 2 beautiful little girls and married to my wonderful husband whom I have been with for 10 years! I'm a book and tea lover and when I'm not working on my blog, you can find me sharing bits and pieces of our lives on Instagram or me strolling down the aisles of Target and DSW! I'm the mama blogger behind the blog, Just Jass, where I offer parenting advice, productivity tips, and positive mental health habits from my perspective as mama of 2. Why don't you join me and my Jassy Fam as we navigate this thing called "mom-life" together!

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