My Experience With Stay At Home Mom Depression
So is stay-at-home-mom depression really a thing?
For anyone who has never been a stay-at-home mom, most think being home with your kids all day must be nice because you don’t have to worry about going to a job every day.
You get to just be home all day and don’t have to worry about a thing except taking care of the kids.
Sound easy right? Wrong.
When I transitioned to being a stay-at-home mom after my daughter was born almost 2 years ago, no one told me about the amount of pressure I would face being home with my daughter all day.
Since I was home, I felt all this pressure to make sure my daughter was doing everything perfectly
I wanted to make sure that she was hitting every milestone for her age.
Eating and consuming all the nutrients that she needed to grow big and healthy.
And also getting the right amount of sleep that wouldn’t leave her overtired.
When you are a stay-at-home mom, you feel responsible for all of these things.
So guess what you feel when your child isn’t doing well in one of these areas.
You feel like crap and unfulfilled as a stay-at-home mom because they are in your care 24/7.
I personally know this from experience and I want to share my experience with you all so that maybe you can be aware of some of the symptoms that I experienced.
Here is my experience with stay-at-home mom depression.
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What is Stay At Home Mom Depression?
Before I get into my experience with stay-at-home mom depression, let’s about it even is.
What is stay-at-home-mom depression?
And why are stay-at-home moms experiencing depression?
If you are even wondering what stay-at-home mom depression is, then it is what the words themselves say.
You are a stay-at-home mom who is experiencing depression.
If you are familiar with the symptoms of postpartum depression, then you are likely having some of the same symptoms while being home with your little ones.
I have already discussed my experience with postpartum depression in which I stated anger being the dominant emotion that I felt.
I was downright irritable during those early months of my daughter’s life.
But anger is just one of many emotions that you may feel.
The other emotion is usually sadness.
You may just bust out crying in front of your kids for something as simple as them asking for a snack.
When they are hungry, of course, they will ask you to feed them.
You know this but you still cry because maybe you just wanted a few minutes to be left alone.
Other symptoms of stay at home mom depression can include:
- Lack of motivation
- Insomnia and fatigue
- Appetite changes
- Weight changes
- Isolation
- Suicidal thoughts
My Experience With Stay At Home Mom Depression
So this leaves us with the question that I said at the beginning wondering if stay-at-home mom depression is really a thing.
If you have been experiencing any of the symptoms that I mentioned above as a stay-at-home mom, then the answer is a big fat YES.
In fact, according to Parents, this condition affects more than a quarter of non-working parents.
Some studies would even venture to say that stay at home moms are more likely to be diagnosed with depression than employed moms
The reason I know that it is real is that I, too, experienced stay-at-home mom depression.
I was knee-deep in postpartum depression a few months after my daughter was born.
I was angry and had random crying spells over the simplest things.
There is so much pressure to be doing everything right as a new mom.
I also felt this enormous amount of pressure to be this amazing stay-at-home mom that had it all together and was on top of everything that happened within our home.
An unspoken expectation that stay-at-home moms have is keeping the home clean and having 3 meals prepared every day.
Well, reality set in pretty quickly for me that out of taking care of my daughter, cleaning the house, and preparing 3 meals a day, one of those is not going to get done.
And I can’t neglect my daughter.
I followed other stay-at-home moms on social media who seemed to have everything under control with more than one child.
And here I was just trying to survive with just the one that I had.
I felt like I was constantly struggling to keep my head above all of these expectations that I had placed on myself.
And I know that some people are wondering, well where is her husband?
Is he not around to help relieve the load?
My husband is wonderful and when he is off work, he does as much as he can with our daughter to help me, so he is very much around
But even with the help of my husband, I still experienced stay-at-home mom depression.
Because even with the support, I still placed unrealistic expectations on myself and felt like a failure as a stay-at-home mom.
Between dealing with postpartum depression and stay at home mom depression, I knew that I had get myself together because my daughter did not deserve a mom who was sad about being mom.
I love my daughter and I want her to know that through my actions and if my actions are showing that I’m sad and angry all the time, then what message am I sending to her?
It was time to put these feelings that I was having to an end.
And I was able to do that.
If you are struggling with depression as a stay at home, just know that you are not alone.
You can do something about it.
Now that I have given you all a look into my experience with stay-at-home mom depression, let’s talk about what you can do about it.
What To Do About Stay At Home Mom Depression
As I often say on here, I want to always make sure I’m providing encouragement for stay-at-home moms because stay-at-home depression is such a thing.
And the very first thing you have to do is address the lack of identity you experience when you first become a stay-at-home mom.
When you go from working and having no kids to being home with the kids, you virtually traded your job title for a new one.
Mom.
This can be a major shock to the system for some of us.
This is especially true if you are a first-time mom.
You were this whole person before your little one got here and having a little one can really shake things up.
But guess what?
She is still there, you just got to feel your way through the fog of mom-life and you cannot do that in isolation.
Motherhood is not something that anyone should have to take on alone.
This is true even for stay-at-home moms who feel like they shouldn’t have to ask for help.
This is another reason why many of us fall into stay-at-home mom depression.
Quit saying you are fine when you are clearly not.
Let your partner know that you are needing help and figure out a way for you to get some breaks when your partner is not at work.
Pick up the phone and see if your mother is available a day or two during the week.
Or God forbid, consider a part-time daycare option.
There are stay-at-home moms who do put their kids in childcare in order to work from home without the distraction of their kiddos in the background.
Your kids will get social interaction within a learning environment and you will be able to work from home in peace.
Another way that I have combatted stay-at-home mom depression is by finding something that I like to do outside of taking care of my daughter.
This blog has been the perfect outlet for me to do just. Not only do I get to share helpful, positive tips to other moms who may be struggling, but I get to talk a little about my experiences as well.
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Your Turn
Alright mommas, now that I discussed my experience with stay-at-home mom depression, I want to hear from you all now. Have you heard of stay-at-home mom depression? Let me know in the comments and while you are still here, check out my previous blog post below. Until next time!
Love,
Just Jass
20 Comments
Kym
This is excellent! Thank you so much for sharing. It’s such an important topic to talk about, yet it hardly ever gets talked about.
Jasmyn Wilkins
You are very welcome and right that this topic hardly gets discussed! Glad that you enjoyed this post!
Patty Gordon
I wish more people would talk about this. Everyone thinks that being a stay at home mom is easy. It’s a hard job taking care of a little one and the isolation that comes along with being at home really takes it toll.
Thank you for all the great information and really more for the courage to stand up and say that this is something moms are facing. I think your post will touch a lot of people!
Jasmyn Wilkins
Aw, thank you so much for your kind words! They truly mean a lot! I knew I couldn’t be the only one dealing with this and come to find out I wasn’t! I’m so glad that your enjoyed this post!
Kristine
I think it’s so important that you have brought attention to this topic that is so important. I think postpartum and mom depression is something that needs to be talked about even more so we can find the best resources to help and family support. Thanks for writing this
Jasmyn Wilkins
I couldn’t agree more! It really should be something that is discussed more! I’m so glad that you enjoyed this post!
Lois
I hear the depression a lot especially from women who previously led busy work lives. These are very good suggestions.
Jasmyn Wilkins
I can definitely see that! I used to work as well as before I had my daughter so going from that type of structure to the current one that I had to create from scratch shook me up a little bit. I’m glad that you enjoyed this post!
Subarna
Yes, the depression is real sometimes. Though I am very jovial person but then also many times I felt at loss. We know our kids are not wrong in few cases but being overwhelmed with so many things we yelled at them without any reason, and then I get depressed. Still cheers to our motherhood and try to lead in a happy way as far as possible. And I must say you have penned it in a wonderful way.
Jasmyn Wilkins
I think many of us feel that way and everything can feel really overwhelming. But like you said motherhood is truly a blessing and as trying as it can be, I wouldn’t want it any other way! I’m so glad that you enjoyed this post!
Diana Duncan
I guess if you are accostomed to working and then decide to stay home whether or not by choice could definitely lead to some kind of depression.
Jasmyn Wilkins
Absolutely! It is a tough transition and not often talked about. I hope others will relate and find comfort in knowing that it is normal and seek the help that they need!
Patricia Chamberlain
Thank you for sharing your story and raising awareness! Being a stay at home mom can be really hard!
Jasmyn Heard
It really can be! I’m glad that you enjoyed this post and I want to continue to bring awareness to this topic!
Jenn
Wow, this is the first time i’ve heard of this, but pretty sure i lived it too! Thanks for sharing about stay-at-home-mom depression, I’m sure others will find this validating too.
Jasmyn Heard
Thank you and I’m glad that you enjoyed this post! Stay at home mom depression is something that many moms experience but aren’t even aware of it so I want to bring more awareness to it!
Jennifer Parker
This seems like such good information. We’ve just started talking about baby’s and plans if we do have a baby! This gives me peace knowing the fears I have are real.
Jasmyn Heard
Thank you and yes your fears are very real! Even though being a stay-at-home mom is tough some days, it is also pretty awesome!
Minah
Totally agree! Being a stay-at-home mom with kids is the most difficult job of all and yes, it is depressing on different levels.
However, to be a stay-at-home mom is also a precious gift. Because you won’t miss a day, you’ll see them grow and change right before your eyes, which for me is a privilege.
Jasmyn Heard
Absolutely! The moment I shifted my thinking from my life is over and all I have become is a mom to this is truly a blessing to get to see my girls grow up every day is when it started looking up for me! It truly is a privilege!