Reconnecting With My Husband After Having A Baby

After having our baby girl last year, my husband and I have been making sure we are reconnecting and finding time for one another.

It is so easy to get lost in parenting once you have kids.

I know my husband and I did when I had my first daughter.

It was just the two of us for 5 years before I got pregnant with our first daughter.

And once she got here, it really changed up the dynamic that we had before and we had to adjust to being new parents.

Nothing really prepares you for being a new parent until you are actually a new parent.

You become so consumed in parenthood the first few months of being a parent as you navigate through the days.

Your days consist of feeding, changing, and rocking the baby and before you know it you will be looking at a 3 or 4-month-old wondering where the time went.

And then another realization will hit.

You and your partner have barely spent any time together since the baby got here.

You dove right into parenthood and neglected your relationship along the way.

This is something that happens to a lot of parents once a new baby arrives and it will only get worse if the relationship is further neglected.

Parents need to find ways to make time and reconnect with their spouses after having a baby and make it a priority.

This is exactly what my husband and I have been doing since having our second baby last year.

After our first experience with parenting, we knew that we wanted to do better the second time around.

If you are interested in how I have been reconnecting with my husband after having our baby girl, then just keep reading.

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Why Did My Husband Change After The Baby Got Here?

Before I get into how to reconnect with your husband after having a baby, let’s answer this question.

Why did my husband change after the baby got here?

This is probably one of the most common things I hear women say about their husbands after having a baby.

Some women will even go as far as saying that they hate their spouse now that the baby is here.

The writers over at Parents mention 7 common marriage issues that couples face after having a baby.

Those issues are:

• Increase in household tasks
• Clashing parenting styles
• Less sex
• Less time as a couple
• Less time on your own
• Clashing with in-laws
• Finances

As I have said, having babies change things.

Including your relationship and marriage.

To go from being a couple to being a family is a big adjustment for everyone.

I know when I became a mom for the first time, it was a big adjustment for me.

So of course, it would be a big adjustment for my husband as well.

It was easy for my husband to be involved during my pregnancy when there was no baby here.

But I was really going to need his support and help with our newborn baby once it got here.

Both of us changed when my first daughter got here.

We learned some new things about ourselves as parents that we wouldn’t have known until we became parents.

And we have also learned how important it is to be on the same page because the foundation of our family starts with us.

In order to do so, we have to make sure we are taking the time to be present with one another so we can communicate.

With that being said, let’s get into how I have been reconnecting with my husband after having our baby girl.

Reconnecting With My Husband After Having A Baby

Accept That Things Will Change

The first thing you have to do when reconnecting with your husband is to accept that things will change once you have a baby.

It is inevitable.

You don’t go from being it is just you and your partner to you, your partner, and a baby without some level of change occurring.

As I mentioned above, you both will be consumed by parenthood during the first few months of having a baby.

Everything will revolve around the baby for a while because they are extremely dependent on you early on.

You will consistently have to keep your baby in mind when it comes to making plans because you are responsible for them.

This is a big change that many new parents take for granted because long gone are the days that you can just get up and go.

Once you accept that things will be different and that change is going to happen, then you will be able to move forward.

Split Up Responsibilities

You may be wondering how splitting up responsibilities help with reconnecting with your spouse.

But hear me out.

Since I’m a stay-at-home mom, I often feel the burden of taking on all the housework and taking care of the girls which often leads me to feel burnout as a mom.

When I’m burnout, I’m not a fun person to be around.

I’m irritable and prone to snapping at everyone who even utters a word to me who most of the time is my husband.

I began to feel resentment towards him and therefore, not be as open to him when we do get some alone time.

In order to relieve some of those awful feelings, I needed to ask for help with the girls as well as help around the house.

In a previous post, I talked about how my husband helps me as a stay-at-home mom.

He helps takes care of the girls and with housework when he is off work.

By having his help, I don’t feel as burned out and less resentful towards him.

This allows me to genuinely enjoy the time that we do get alone together because I don’t feel overwhelmed and stressed out.

Find Ways To Get Alone Time Together

Now that you have accepted that things will be different and communicated how you both will share responsibilities, it is time to find some ways to get some alone time together to reconnect.

The obvious way is to have someone babysit your kids so you and your husband can have some kid-free time.

If you have someone that you trust to watch your kids, then I say utilize it.

However, I’m aware that not everyone has a lot of options when it comes to babysitters.

Neither of our parents lives close enough to watch the girls, so we don’t really have anyone who can babysit our kids.

This means that the majority of the time, our girls are with us.

So we have to get creative with how we squeeze in alone time.

The majority of our alone time happens in the evenings after the girls have gone to bed.

We spend this time in the evenings checking in with each other and just making we are good.

It has become something that we look forward to in the evenings because we know that we can unwind together kid-free.

Be Intimate With One Another

The next thing you want to do when trying to reconnect with your husband is to be intimate with one another.

Which involves much more than just having sex.

Intimacy can also be kissing, hugging, and cuddling.

One of the ways that my husband feels loved and shows love is through touch.

He is always coming up behind me to hug me, kiss me on the cheek, or even pat me on the butt.

I know as a mom, it is easy to get touched out and not want to be touched since that is pretty much all your kids do all day.

But touching one another is so important when connecting and being intimate with your spouse.

After having a baby, sex may not come as easy due to so many physical and mental factors.

But hugging, cuddling, and kissing are still forms of intimacy that most couples still enjoy and make you feel good with one another.

In fact, if sex is something that your relationship is struggling with, you may want to ease back into it by cuddling and holding onto one another first.

These simple intimate acts might just put you in the mood to go further and you gradually find that spark again.

Getting Some Good Alone Time

And the last way I have been reconnecting with my husband after having a baby is by taking care of myself and getting some alone time.

This is a tip I picked up on over at Her View From Home.

In that post, they talk about the benefits of self-care and making time for yourself.

By devoting time to care for ourselves, we can give and tend to the needs of others.

In particular, our husbands and children because they usually catch it the worst when we are overwhelmed.

I know that this post is about coming together with your partner, but you need to be ok first in order to do that.

This can be done by spending some good time alone and engaging in self-care activities.

Your Turn

Well, that is how I have been reconnecting with my husband after having our baby girl last year. I want to hear from you all now. What are some ways that you reconnect with your spouse after having a baby? Let me know in the comments and while you are still here, check out my previous post below. Until next time!

• Read More: Making Time For Yourself As A Stay At Home Mom

Love,

Just Jass