How Your Husband Can Help With A Newborn

You might be surprised to hear this but your husband may be unsure how he can help with a newborn.

Especially if he is a first-time dad with a newborn.

When it comes to small newborn babies, you may see some men actually freeze up and may not even hold the baby.

For some men, becoming a father brings up a lot of feelings of anxiety and can cause them to doubt their abilities to be able to take care of a baby.

When my husband become a father for the first time, he too, struggled with our newborn baby girl.

He was extremely gentle with our first daughter and did not want to do anything to hurt her.

In fact, it took him a few months to give our daughter a bath and even change her clothes because he was so nervous about possibly hurting her.

But he eventually got it and now he pretty much does all our older daughter’s baths and helps her with her pajamas in the evenings.

When he became a dad for the second time with this baby, he was way more comfortable and took on helping with the baby a lot sooner.

This man feels like a pro with babies after having our first and it feels great to have his help with our baby girl.

I know there are some dads out there who want to help with a newborn, but don’t where to start.

And us mommas need the help with the baby.

Here I will dive into how your husband can help with a newborn.

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My Husband Doesn’t Help With The Baby

Before I get into some ways your husband can help with a newborn, let’s talk about why they don’t help.

Because it does happen and this is probably the number one complaint from moms who just had a baby.

There is a difference between a man who doesn’t help with the baby because he is nervous or scared of hurting them and a man who just doesn’t want to help at all.

It is normal to be scared and nervous of a newborn especially if you are a first-time parent.

But to straight-up think a newborn is not your responsibility and that the responsibility relies on the mother is complete nonsense.

Most moms want the father to be an active participant in parenting and that starts the day the child is born.

If we want to be really honest, parenting starts the moment that the mom is pregnant.

Your husband should be involved in the pregnancy because they are already learning to care for their child by making sure their soon-to-be mom is taken care of.

But as I have said before in my post on getting your husband involved in your pregnancy, your husband may just not know what to do.

For women, it has a way of coming a little bit more naturally, but it might not for men.

Jason from Dad University talks about how completely unaware men are in regards to newborns and how moms need to take charge in telling their husbands what they need to do to help with the baby.

He goes on to say that what often happens in a lot of households is that mom will take over the caregiving and then complain when the dad does something that they think is wrong while caring for the baby.

The constant complaining will lead to dad helping with the baby less and then mom starts complaining about the lack of help she gets.

This negative cycle will likely lead to the mom resenting her husband for not helping with the baby and the husband possibly resenting the baby for taking all of his wife’s attention.

As awful as this sounds, this is happening in so many households today.

I know I can only speak as a mom and as a mom, we need to take the help of our husbands if they are willing and trying to help.

I understand that they may change the diaper too slow or may rock the baby weird, but that is their way and if it works, then let them be.

It took me leaving my husband alone with our first daughter for him to build his confidence and find his stride in taking care of her.

And his confidence made me more confident in him.

With all that being said, let’s get into some ways your husband can help with a newborn and build their confidence up as a parent.

How Your Husband Can Help With A Newborn

Help With Diaper Changes

This should be a given but you would be surprised at how many men try to steer clear of changing the baby’s diaper.

Which is dang near impossible with a baby.

At some point, your husband will be left alone with the baby and they will need to change their diaper.

Of course, no one likes to change diapers, but that is part of what taking care of a baby looks like because they cannot change themselves.

So it has to be done and your husband needs to know how to change a diaper properly.

My husband actually learned how to change a diaper in the hospital with our first daughter when the nurses showed him how to properly wipe our daughter and put the diaper on correctly.

It is so helpful to have a partner help with diaper changes and what I really love is that my husband helps with diaper changes at night.

This leads me to my next tip.

Help With The Night Feeds

As I was saying above, my husband does help at night by changing our baby’s diaper when she wakes up.

And I cannot be more grateful.

Since I am breastfeeding our baby girl throughout the night, I am already exhausted from waking up and the last thing I want to do is change her diaper as well.

This is where my husband has stepped in and been really helpful during the night feeds.

By him getting up to change her diaper and then bringing her over to me nurse, I don’t have to leave the bed and I’m able to get more rest in between feeds.

For any fellas reading this post, please get up with your wives during the night time feeds and find a way to help with them.

Whether it is changing the diaper like my husband does or giving the baby a bottle during one of the night feeds, find a way to help.

Help Soothe The Baby When They Crying

Everybody wants to hold a happy, smiling baby, but no one wants to hold a crying, fussy baby.

But crying is inevitable when it comes to babies or how else are they going to let you know that they are hungry or have a dirty diaper.

There will come a day when your little one will be talking and telling you what is wrong and what they need, but while they are babies, their only form of communication is crying.

Babies naturally feel comfort from their moms because that is who they know at first, so mom is always the first choice when it comes to a crying baby.

But at the same time, we are not trying to always be the choice either.

If dad can help with soothing a crying baby, then you got yourself a winner.

On some days where it has just been a little harder than most and I’m having a bad mom day, my husband will help calm the baby down when I’m feeling overwhelmed.

Most of the time babies are crying because they are needing a need to be met and my husband understands that so he will tend to the baby sometimes when she is crying.

I love that he is able to soothe our daughter when she is crying so I don’t feel like it falls solely on me to always calm her down.

Help By Playing With The Baby

I know that there isn’t a whole lot to do with a newborn, but they still have to be entertained during those short times they are awake.

Most of what you can do with a newborn baby is talk and sing to them.

Newborns are like sponges so even though they are not doing a lot right now, they are still absorbing your facial features and recognizing your voice as someone who makes them feel safe and cared for.

As I have been saying, babies naturally know who their mom is, so dads have to work a little harder to establish that bond.

And that relationship starts right now.

By dad taking the baby and playing with them by talking, singing, and cuddling with them, they are building up that bond.

They are also giving mom a break which usually means a much happier wife.

My husband talks and plays with our baby girl at some point every day and she has started to smile at him.

I will probably have another daddy’s girl on my hands before long.

Help With The Other Kids

My last tip is for my second-time dads like my husband.

Another way that your husband can help with a newborn is by watching the older kids.

This may seem like they are not helping with the baby but they are by allowing you to focus on just the baby instead of the baby and the other children.

Our baby girl has only been here for 2 months and I can definitely tell you that it is really tough juggling a newborn and a toddler.

If you all read my post on what you can do for a mom who just had her second baby, then you saw that one of my suggestions was to have someone watch your first child.

For the first couple of weeks, we had family helping with our first daughter.

Well after they left, it was up to us to start adjusting as a family of 4.

And my husband pretty much took over taking care of our 2-year-old and making sure she was good throughout the day.

By him taking care of our toddler, I am able to tend to just the baby and worry about her needs.

Divide and conquer is how we have been doing things since our baby girl got here.

Your Turn

Now that I have discussed how your husband can help with a newborn, I want to hear from you all now. What are some more ways that dad can help with a baby? Let me know in the comments below and while you are still here, check out my previous post below.

• Read More: Helping Your Toddler Adjust To A New Baby

Love,

Just Jass