Helping Your Toddler Adjust To A New Baby

Helping your toddler adjust to a new baby won’t be easy, but it has to be done.

And the only reason I’m saying that is because I’m in the thick of it right now helping my 2-year-old adjust to the new baby.

And let’s just say it has been very interesting.

Going from having just one child to 2 children is not only a big adjustment for us as parents but also for our daughter.

She has been used to getting all of our attention, so she is going to have to learn to share that attention with her younger sibling.

But a 2-year-old isn’t going to understand that.

The only thing that she is going to understand is that her mommy and daddy are more preoccupied with the baby than her.

And everything that we normally do, we aren’t doing.

This little baby just changed her whole life and she is just trying to figure out where she fits into all of this.

This is why we have to help her adjust.

We obviously can’t return the baby so she has to get used to the idea of us being a family of 4 instead of a family of 3 whether she wants to or not.

We are going into 8 weeks of our baby girl being home so we are almost two months in and our daughter has been doing pretty well with her baby sister.

I believe some of the tips that I’m going to mention below are what really helped her.

Here are some ways on helping your toddler adjust to a new baby.

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Introducing My Toddler To The New Baby

So before I get into those tips on helping your toddler adjust to the new baby, let’s talk about my toddler meeting the baby for the first time.

You all know that I had been preparing my toddler for the new baby since the beginning of my pregnancy.

She has known since I was sick in the first trimester that mommy was going to have a baby and that this baby will be her sister.

At 2 years old, she understood that a baby was coming, but I don’t think she understood what that fully meant.

While I was giving birth, I was unable to have my daughter with me in the hospital for the entire time due to covid restrictions.

So I did not get to introduce my daughter to her sister at the hospital.

I didn’t get to the whole “introduce my toddler to the new baby at the hospital” experience which meant she didn’t get to really meet her baby sister until we got home.

I was at the hospital for almost 2 days so I was away from my daughter for almost two days.

And from what I heard, she was very upset that she couldn’t see me or the baby during that time.

This alone was already setting a precedent for things to come with how things were going to be once we brought the baby home.

But even though, she had a hard time with me being gone with the baby, you couldn’t tell when she met her baby sister for the first time.

She was smiling from ear to ear and immediately became obsessed with her.

You could see the joy in her face and how much she already cared for her.

Even with our baby girl being here for almost 2 months, my daughter is still obsessed with her sister, but that doesn’t mean that she hasn’t had a hard time adjusting.

From the moment, we brought the new baby home, we started noticing a difference in her behavior.

What we noticed was:

• An increase in crying spells
• An increase in tantrum throwing
• Reverting to baby talk
• Wanting to be treated like a baby

All of this was to be expected, but it is still tough to deal with along with a newborn who also vying for your attention.

With that being said, let’s get into those tips on helping your toddler adjust to a new baby.

Helping Your Toddler Adjust To A New Baby

Be Patient

My very first tip on helping your toddler adjust is to be patient.

There is no telling how long it will take for your toddler to adjust to the new baby, so you are going to have to be patient with them.

Like I mentioned above, a new baby is a big change which means you could see a big change in your toddler as well.

This change in your toddler is going to require you to be a much calmer parent with them because they are unable to regulate all the big emotions they may be feeling.

Which is exactly what we have been doing with our daughter.

A phrase that I love to remember when it comes to toddler’s emotions is “BIG EMOTIONS, little body.”

When I think of this, it reminds me that my daughter is just having a hard time and needs my patience instead of my aggression.

Try To Stick With Your Toddler’s Routine

This is much easier said than done because your newborn will not be on a routine at all.

What we have been doing with my daughter is trying to stick with her naptime and bedtime.

In my 2-year-old’s daily routine, her nap usually falls between 1-4 in the afternoon and she is in the bed by 8:30 every night.

The rest of the day may be all over the place with the new baby, but we intentionally stick to the same nap and bedtime for consistency.

This leads me to my next tip.

Find A Way To Get One-On-One Time

As I was saying above, your day may be all over the place taking care of a newborn, so it may be hard to get one-on-one time with your toddler.

Not to mention that you will be exhausted from taking care of the baby or need to do something else while the baby is sleeping.

So sitting down to play with or interact with your toddler may not be at the top of your priority list.

But it is necessary.

What I started doing in order to get some daily one-on-one time with her is doing her bedtime routine with her in the evenings.

After I put the baby down in the evenings, I will go with her to her room to read a couple of books before bed and give her a bunch of snuggles, hugs, and kisses.

Not only is this letting her know that I still love her, but it also soothes her before bed and puts her at ease to sleep longer.

Have Them Help With The New Baby

I told you all that my daughter was obsessed with her baby sister, so she is always trying to help us with her.

However, her help is not always the most helpful.

Instead of constantly yelling at them or wanting to punish them for wanting to help, find a way to involve them in the process.

For instance, our daughter would want to help wipe the new baby during diaper changes, which is nice of her to want to do, but we did not really want her doing that.

So instead, we would have her throw away the diaper in the diaper pail.

And she thought it was the coolest job in the world.

She gets to help with the new baby and you get to avoid a meltdown.

Allow Them To Still Be A Baby Sometimes

And my last tip for helping your toddler adjust to a new baby is to allow them to still be a baby sometimes.

This is really hard to do because you feel like you have been working so hard to get your toddler out of the baby phase.

But as Paula From Beauty Through Imperfection reminded me, our babies will always be our babies no matter how much older they get.

So if my daughter is asking me to pick her up or saying “I’m baby,” I don’t need to brush it off.

I know it feels like your toddler isn’t a baby by how they act, but you have to remember that the baby phase really wasn’t that long ago.

Having your second baby shouldn’t feel like you are replacing your first baby.

So let your toddler act like a baby sometimes.

Your Turn

And that’s what we have been doing to help our daughter adjust to her new baby sister. But I want to hear from you all now. What have you all done in helping your toddler adjust to a new baby? Let me know in the comment and while you are still here, check out my previous post below. Until next time!

• Read More: What To Do For A Mom Who Just Had Her Second Baby

Love,

Just Jass