How To Teach Kindness And Empathy To Your Kids
When it comes to trying to teach kindness and empathy to our kids, where do you even start?
Because we know hate is something that kids are not born with feeling.
It is taught.
When I look at my daughter, I don’t see hate in her eyes.
I see joy when she smiles.
Sadness if she is crying.
And anger when she is upset.
These are natural emotions that we all naturally feel.
So where do we even start to begin to teach kindness and empathy to our kids?
One would think, it shouldn’t be that hard to teach kindness and compassion right?
Shouldn’t it already be ingrained to be kind and respectful
Think again.
I currently have a toddler who is testing the boundaries which means I’m consistently in redirect mode.
If you have a toddler, you are aware of the stage called the “the terrible twos.”
They may engage in behavior such as hitting, biting, and tantrum-throwing.
These are not behaviors that we want our children to grow up and continue doing.
So what do we do?
We correct the behavior and teach them what to do instead with discipline that doesn’t involve us hitting them back or worse.
The same goes for teaching our kids kindness and empathy.
If you are interested in what I have been doing to teach my toddler how to be kind and empathic, then just keep reading.
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Why Not Kind Adults?
That is a great question.
Kind adults do exist.
But there are also some adults who are not so kind.
I bet if you think about it, you can probably come up with a couple of people who are not so kind.
As adults, our minds are likely made up and we are who we choose to be.
We become set in our ways and feel confident in what we are doing and think it is right.
It is hard to change the mind of an adult.
Kids on the other hand still have time.
And we, as adults, hold so much power in the way that they turn out in the world.
I’m not saying that we are solely responsible because eventually, everyone finds their own way.
But, those early years are heavily influenced by us.
Our world needs more kind kids.
Imagine a world full of kind kids who embrace compassion and empathy?
How much better off would we all be.
And this type of world can exist if we all start teaching kindness and empathy to our children.
It starts with us and this is how I have been doing it.
How To Teach Kindness And Empathy To Your Kids
Start Early
The first thing that you have to do when trying to teach kindness and empathy to your kids is to start early.
There is not a set timeline on when to teach your children to be kind.
You can start as early as you want.
As I mentioned above, toddlers will test you and push you to see how far they can go before someone interferes.
And a lot of toddlers are able to comprehend and understand what is being asked of them and listen to it.
When your toddler is experiencing a moment that needs correcting such as insulting or harming another child, these are perfect teaching moments where we can correct the behavior.
Yes, kids love to play and joke around, but you should in no shape or form allow your kid to straight-up bully another kid.
We as the parents have to recognize that and step in.
We are adults and we have a responsibility to teach our kids right and wrong.
And being a bully is wrong.
By starting early, we can deter that behavior and hopefully raise our kids to help kids who are being bullied instead of doing the bullying.
Educate Them On Our Differences
The next thing we can do is educate our kids on our differences.
Our world consists of many different races, ethnicities, and cultures.
We can’t keep our children within our four walls forever.
They will eventually come face to face with someone who looks completely different from them.
And the first reaction should not be to
Expose your kids to different cultures through books, movies, and TV Shows.
A great resource I utilize to expose my toddler to other races and cultures is The Equal Opportunity Book Box.
This book box is a subscription that delivers 3 books with a diverse range of characters to your home monthly.
The sole mission of The Equal Opportunity Book Box is to increase representation within the picture books that our younger children are exposed to.
They offer a board book subscription for babies and toddlers up to the age of 2 as well as a picture book subscription for preschoolers and school age children up to age of 7.
We received the picture book box and my daughter really enjoyed the books with the people of color since my daughter and I are both black.
If you are looking for a resource that will help expose your children to different and cultures, then be sure to check out The Equal Opportunity Book Box through the link here.
Encourage Kindness
After educating them on our differences, it is time to encourage our children to be kind.
Do you remember when you were in school and you see a kid bullying another kid?
How many people did you see step in and stop the bully?
At this time, many people pull out their phones to record what is happening instead of helping.
Imagine how some of those situations would have been different if somebody had just stepped up or had even gotten help.
Or maybe if that bully had been shown what kindness was from the start, they would have never been a bully to begin with.
A bully doesn’t become a bully overnight. It’s a gradual process.
We are not in control of everyone’s else upbringing, but we are in control of the upbringing of our own children.
We can make the decision to teach them to show up for others and not to join in the hate.
In this article from the Scary Mommy, they actually state that we should seek out opportunities for your children to practice kindness and empathy.
And that can easily be done by showing kindness and empathy towards a sibling or even a family pet.
Model Kindness And Empathy Yourself
This leads me to my last point when trying to teach our children how to be kind and empathic.
We have to model kindness and empathy ourselves.
It starts with us.
Like I said above, we can’t control everyone’s upbringing.
And we can’t control our own upbringing as well.
Some people were raised in households where they were taught to judge and stereotype others.
Even if you are raised in a household where this occurred, it doesn’t mean that you have to raise your own children to be that way.
Just because it was done in the past, does not mean that you have to do it in the present.
Break those generational curese and patterns.
There is a saying that parents love to say which is “Do as I say, not as I do.”
As much as I wish this to be true, words just go through one ear and out the other.
Actions speak a lot louder.
You can’t just talk the talk.
You have to walk the walk too.
Set the tone and be someone who your kids would be proud to say that is my mom or dad.
There is a great article from the Nurture and Thrive Blog that goes into 8 ways that we can encourage compassion, kindness, and empathy in our children.
One of the tips she provides is being vulnerable and be able to admit when you are wrong in front of your kids.
I love this because it holds us accountable.
By admitting you are wrong doesn’t make you less of an adult.
It actually makes you more human in their eyes and capable of making mistakes because, in reality, we really do make mistakes.
Your Turn
Well, that is what I have been doing to teach kindness and empathy to my toddler. But, I want to hear from you now. How do you teach kindness and empathy to your kids? With everything going on in the world, you might be feeling a little helpless in what to do so I hope this gives you a starting pointing part. If you are interested in trying out The Equal Opportunity Book Box, be sure to check out my link here. I would to hear from you all in the comments and while you are still here, check out my previous blog post below. Until next time!
- Read More: Easy Ways To Make Your Man Feel Special
Love,
Just Jass
Jasmyn Heard
Hi! I'm Jasmyn or "Jas" as everyone likes to call me! I'm a stay-at-home girl momma to 2 beautiful little girls and married to my wonderful husband whom I have been with for 10 years! I'm a book and tea lover and when I'm not working on my blog, you can find me sharing bits and pieces of our lives on Instagram or me strolling down the aisles of Target and DSW! I'm the mama blogger behind the blog, Just Jass, where I offer parenting advice, productivity tips, and positive mental health habits from my perspective as mama of 2. Why don't you join me and my Jassy Fam as we navigate this thing called "mom-life" together!
62 Comments
Aiyna Dhillon
Such a great post, especially during this time. It’s so important to teach our kids to be kind, loving and compassionate people. There isn’t any room for hate anymore.
I’m always going to have these conversations with my kids as they grow up. It won’t be just a one time thing and then I forget about it. These conversations are so important and need to be had in order to raise good hearted human beings.
Jasmyn Wilkins
There is not! And don’t quit having these types of conversations! I know I won’t! I’m so glad that you enjoyed this post!
Sana
You wrote the feelings of a mom such beautifully in this post. It’s so important to teach our children kindness, given what’s going on in the world. I have a two-year-old who’s full of tantrums and emotions. He’s pretty naughty and unpredictable too and he throws glasses everywhere :/
Jasmyn Wilkins
I’m in the same boat as you! Toddlers are so unpredictable, but they are also a lot like sponges which means they are ready to soak in the knowledge that we can provide. It starts with us momma! I’m so glad that you enjoyed this post!
Camille Deal
This was so beautifully written! I think it is so important for us mamas to remember how big of an influence we have over our children!
Jasmyn Wilkins
Thank you much! Our children are listening to and watching us. Our influence goes much further than we know! I’m glad that you enjoyed this post!
Robyn Jones
I agree with your suggestions and that parents must start early and take advantage of the teachable moments. I am not a parent yet, but as a teacher, I would also add providing multicultural dolls for your children to play with from very early. A study was done with adults that found when presented with a black and white doll and asked, the majority of people (black and white) chose the black doll as being the bad one. I would also recommend parents involving children in activities where they get to interact with and make friends with children of other cultures, and for black parents to teach their children about our history to instill a sense of pride to overcome the “less than” treatment they will experience in the world. Thank you for sharing this most important aspect of overcoming racial inequality: parents teaching their children the right things to do and raising them to do so!
Jasmyn Wilkins
I wish you could hear me clapping from behind this keyboard! Everything in this comment needs to be shouted from every building! Exposure is so key and dolls were exactly how my parents exposed me and familiarized me with different races. It was also so important for me to see myself in Barbies so that I can begin to see the beauty in myself. Bravo for this amazing comment and I’m so glad that you enjoyed this post!
Andrea
I love this post! One thing I did when my kids were younger was ensure that the professionals in our lives came from a myriad of different backgrounds. We did this so they’d identify an African American as a doctor, much like their pediatrician. Or the pretty blonde lady as their amazing dentist. We hoped by doing this, they’d identify people from different walks of life as equals and not as stereotypes.
Jasmyn Wilkins
This is true! This is very important to see yourself and others in different professions! Great tip! I’m glad that you enjoyed this post!
Cherry | It's All Cherry
This is a timely post and it’s never to early to start teaching kindness.
Jasmyn Wilkins
Absolutely! I’m glad that you enjoyed this post!
Karissa
This is a beautifully written post in light of the current standings in the world. I truly appreciate the examples and actionable steps you’ve included to help us all take steps to raising kind, loving kids who are accepting of ALL individuals despite their race, where they’re from, what their jobs are, and more! Definitely sharing this with my readers <3
Jasmyn Wilkins
Thank you and I would love it if you shared it! I’m so glad that you enjoyed this post!
Megan
This is such a nice read! All kids should definitely learn to be kind from a young age! such a timely post too.
Jasmyn Wilkins
Thank you so much! I’m so glad that you enjoyed this post!
Lisa
Kindness and empathy are so important…and they have to be modeled and taught to our children! Great post.
Jasmyn Heard
Absolutely! Glad that you enjoyed this post!
Emma | Life Advice
Aw I love this post! It’s so important that we teach our children to be kind and model that behaviour ourselves!
Jasmyn Wilkins
Yes, it absolutely is! I’m so glad that you enjoyed this post!
Jaya Avendel
A beautiful post on one of the best emotions in our hearts. I agree that it is never too soon to start; little ones pick up on more then we think so what we model sinks into their minds.
Family conversations are also amazing; even if toddlers cannot participate, I think just listening or being quietly aware of conversations is another way we learn young how good, wholesome conversations occur and are carried out. Tone of voice also influences how we perceive other people. 🙂
Jasmyn Wilkins
You are absolutely right! I know I appreciated our family conversations as kids. I’m so glad that you enjoyed this post!
KD
Great post. I don’t have children. But I frequently find myself thinking about how parents should teach their kids love, kindness, and respect, especially toward others who may not be or act like them. This thought crosses my mind most often when I see parents exhibiting poor behavior in front of their children. I hope that more parents start to realize that their children are watching and listening to them 24/7. That they have one of the biggest–if not biggest influence–over their children. Articles like this will certainly help spread the message.
Jasmyn Wilkins
Thank you so much and you are right! Whether we realize it or not, our parents have one of the biggest influences over how we view and perceive the world. We have to do better, not only for us but for our children too. I’m so glad that you enjoyed this post!
Mike
Great ideas. If everyone would do this the world would be a better place.
Jasmyn Wilkins
It really would be! I’m glad that you loved these ideas!
TheWellnessVilla
This is so very important and something like this is better thought as a kid so it stays with you for a lifetime. If we all do this and teach our kids to be kind, imagine the world we are going to live in, in the future. With kind and loving people around us 🙂 It is the need of the time.
Jasmyn Wilkins
This is exactly why I said to start early! Kids retain a lot more than we know so by starting early, we can teach them these life skills that they can continue to utilize! I’m so glad that you enjoyed this post!
Kat T
What a great and insightful post.
Wonderful
Jasmyn Wilkins
Thank you so much! I’m glad that you enjoyed this post!
Aren
Even though my baby girl is only 2 months old, I’m teaching her to be kind by treating her kind myself. I don’t change my tone when I’m frustrated, I stop and listen to her cooing and look her in the eyes, even when I’m busy. It’s a start. Thank you for this post! 🙂
Jasmyn Wilkins
This is absolutely a great start! Keep it up momma and I’m so glad that you enjoyed this post!
Emily Woodward
Thanks so much for this post. This is something we need to work on in our family.
Jasmyn Wilkins
You are very welcome and I’m so glad that you enjoyed this post!
Pamela
Such amazing tips, Jas!
Jasmyn Heard
Thank you so much! Glad that you enjoyed this post!
Emily
I completely agree with you that children need to be taught kindness more. I am a toddler teacher and teach my students about people of all differences, inclusion, and kindness every day. I have a mural of people of all differences that we often look at and discuss together, I read children’s books about people of all differences to them, and I teach them Baby Sign Language at circle time and we use it throughout the day every day. We have toys of people of all differences too in our play areas. This past school year I taught an inclusion classroom with two children who received Early Intervention and I always loved seeing how kind my students were to them. When I would say “Yay!” and cheer them on when they met milestones, my toddler students would do it too and that always warmed my heart. There was one of students who was especially very accepting to both of them. She was so young and always said, “Hi!” when they would arrive and stand up for them when they weren’t being treated right every now and then. Both families and teachers need to teach these lessons to children of all ages because they are not taught enough to them and are very important. That is why I continue to teach about it and am so happy that me constantly teaching them these lessons have made a difference in their lives and even their families’.
Jasmyn Wilkins
I love this and I’m so glad that teachers like you exist to truly make a difference. When our children aren’t with us, it is a good chance that they in the hands of teachers and other caregivers. Keep it up and keep doing what you are doing!
ปั้มไลค์
Like!! I blog quite often and I genuinely thank you for your information. The article has truly peaked my interest.
Jasmyn Wilkins
You are very welcome and I’m so glad that you enjoyed this post!
Samantha|Samantha Laycock Blogging
None of my kids hot the terrible twos but they second they turned 3, WOW!! ??
Kindness is so important. This was a great post. Thank you.
Jasmyn Wilkins
I have heard about the terrible 3’s, hopefully my daughter is getting all that out of her system now! Lol! So glad that you enjoyed this post!
Rachel
I love this! As a teacher, auntie and godmother, I feel it’s part of my duty to help model empathetic behaviours and teach kids in my care how to care for others. Some great ideas, thanks for sharing!
Jasmyn Wilkins
I love that you are shaping our next generation with kindness and empathy! Really glad that you enjoyed this post!
Dominique
Such great ideas! Thank you for sharing.
Jasmyn Wilkins
You are very welcome! Glad that you enjoyed this post!
April Haynesworth
I teach my three year through play, I give the dolls hugs, and I hug and love on my child as well. I allow her to watch inspirational and educational videos on YouTube as well on television. I’m a person I be to myself I don’t participate in drama and gossip around my daughter because I want to set a good example. This was a great post and much needed info.
Jasmyn Wilkins
I love that you do this and hope others see your comment and follow this as well! Glad that you enjoyed this post!
Farwa
Starting early is really the key.
Jasmyn Heard
It truly is!
Carly | My Green Toddler
Great post! Kind is what I want my children to be more than anything else.
Jasmyn Heard
Don’t we all! Glad that you enjoyed this post!
Rachel
I love this post and what it stands for. I strive to do this everyday with my boys. I am also a school counselor and I teach kids about kindness and we also do awareness month and week on kindness.
Jasmyn Heard
Thank you for what you do and continue to do! I’m so glad that you enjoyed this post!
Inspiration is a woman
We teach kids how to be nice, polite, happy… It would be great if we had more happy and kind kids. What if we could stop teaching them and just let them teach us…! Imagine if we could learn from them… How wonderful the world would be…!!!
Jasmyn Heard
I love this idea! We could truly learn a lot from them!
Emily
Thanks for writing this post! I often ask my kids, “Is what you’re saying helpful or hurtful?” and remind them we want to use our words to build each other up, not tear each other down.
Jasmyn Heard
That is a great way to teach what it means to be kind and empathic! Keep it up, mama!
Amanda
Such nice suggestions. I’m working on being kinder myself (in words, thoughts, actions) to model behaviour. Really good idea for a post!
Jasmyn Heard
Thank you and that is a great way to start modeling the behavior that you want to see in your children!
Dana
I loved reading this and I agree! Your last point that “it starts with us” is so important! A lot of parents and teachers miss this. I would also like to add that we need to practice self care, mindfulness, and have peace within ourselves first. We model this to our children.
Jasmyn Heard
I”m so glad that you enjoyed this! I would have to agree that we should model what self-care, mindfulness, and peace look like as well! Those are very important practices that children should learn as well!