How To Get Your Husband Involved In Your Pregnancy

How can I get my husband involved in my pregnancy when they are not the ones carrying the baby?

Oh, and while we are asking, how can I get him involved in my pregnancy during a pandemic that seems determined to have women go through pregnancy alone?

I’m not going to lie. This has been a tough year and an even tougher year for pregnant women because we are pretty having to do it alone.

We have to go to doctor appointments alone.

And some women even had to give birth alone.

I got pregnant in September of last year so pretty much still in the thick of the pandemic.

But I can’t imagine the women who were pregnant early on and had to deliver their baby during those early months when they weren’t even allowing a support person to be present.

Where I am, they are allowing the moms to only have one support person present during the birth.

Which is completely different from my first birth where I could have as many people present as possible.

So it leaves moms with a tough decision to make in regards to who that support person will be and most moms will likely choose their husbands or the father of the child.

For most men and partners, getting to see the birth or at least being present for the birth means a lot to them because they get to see and hold the baby that they helped create because they don’t get to experience pregnancy.

Even though men don’t have to carry the baby during pregnancy (lucky them), they deserve to be involved and have a say in their baby.

And with the current state of the world, I have been trying to make sure I involve my husband as much as I can during this pregnancy since he has only able to attend one of my doctor appointments.

Last week, I discussed how I was preparing my toddler for a new sibling.

So this week, I want to dive into some ways to can get your husband involved in your pregnancy.

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Helping Your Husband Understand Pregnancy

So I often hear some women complain that their husband is not interested in their pregnancy or my partner does not seem excited about the pregnancy.

And I get it. My feelings would be hurt too if husband didn’t seem the least bit interested in my pregnancy.

To be honest, my husband doesn’t start showing more interest until he can feel the baby move which was a little before the 20-week mark.

Which makes sense because that is when pregnancy starts getting exciting for me as well because even though I hear the heartbeat at my doctor appointments, it’s nothing like actually feeling the baby kicking from the inside.

But another reason that your partner may not be showing interest in your pregnancy is that maybe they don’t understand it.

All men seem to know when it comes to pregnancy is that there is a baby in there for 9 months and then they come out.

And as women, we know that there is a lot more to pregnancy than that.

Since we carry the babies, we are naturally researching what is happening to our bodies, tracking the weeks and our weight, and taking a little extra care of ourselves in hopes of having a smooth delivery.

Men are not doing all that.

Which can lead to many pregnant women feeling lonely, unappreciated, and not attractive.

Pregnancy is hard enough and the last thing you want to be dealing with is an insensitive and unsupportive husband during pregnancy.

Amy White from Daily Successful Living has some really good tips on how to be a supportive husband during pregnancy that you can share with your husband if you are in this position currently.

In order to get your husband involved in your pregnancy, you have to communicate your needs and educate them on what happens during pregnancy from the first trimester to the third.

How To Get Your Husband Involved In Your Pregnancy

Invite Him To Your Prenatal Appointments

This will be the most obvious tip I drop, but you would be suprised.

Some men think they are not invited unless asked, so give him the opportunity by telling and inviting him in advance.

I know I mentioned above that during the current pandemic, most women are not allowed to have their partners at the appointments which is also the case for me.

What I would do is record my ultrasound appointments and the baby’s heartbeat so my husband could see and hear our baby.

But as of now, I think a lot of places are lifting their restrictions and allowing a support person to be present at the ultrasound appointments.

Which are definitely the appointments that you are going to want your husband at because you both will get to see the baby.

My husband was not allowed at any of my early ultrasound appointments, but he was allowed at my last one which he immediately jumped on the opportunity.

If you are ok with spending a little extra money, there is always the option to book a private ultrasound.

Most of those clinics allow your husband or partner to be present.

Announce Your Pregnancy Together

This is a great tip mentioned on Mom Smart Not Hard and what we did as a couple as well.

There is a reason that couples like to announce their pregnancy by saying “We’re Pregnant!” instead of “I’m or She’s pregnant!”

And it’s because of the unity of the saying and allowing your partner to feel involved in the pregnancy.

Some people may find it annoying to say that because obviously the man is not pregnant, but that is not the point.

The point is getting the dad involved in the pregnancy.

Personally, we announced our pregnancy through a gender reveal both times so we revealed that I was pregnant by saying that “We are having a girl!”

That is definitely an option if you are not comfortable announcing it the way I said above.

Let Your Husband Feel The Baby Movements

As a pregnant mom of a toddler, between getting kicked from inside and constantly being grabbed on by my daughter from the outside, you start to feel “touched out.”

And not to mention, your body is already highly sensitive being pregnant.

So I get that you may be feeling touched out, but we can’t rob our partners of the opportunity to see and feel the life that they help create.

Just like I said earlier, those fetal movements often signal that there really is a baby in there. It has the same effect on your husband as well.

Sometimes if your husband already has his hand on your stomach, they can catch some movement, but you may have to be the one to initiate it because you know exactly where the movement is taking place.

This type of bonding may also encourage your husband to talk or sing to your belly as well which is exactly what you would want the baby to hear.

Pick Out Baby Names Together

Another obvious tip, but once again you would also be surprised.

Picking out a name for your baby is a big deal and absolutely something that should be done together.

A lot of people get caught up in the name that they want to give the baby, that they don’t consider what their partner may want to name the baby.

And this can happen vice versa as well if your partner feels strongly about a certain name.

For us, we don’t normally pick out a name until later in the pregnancy, and the way that we have done it is by me picking out the first name and my husband picking out the middle name.

I like unique names and he likes names that have a good meaning behind them. We may tweak the names as we come up with them, but we ultimately will find a way to agree on a name that we both like.

Create A Baby Registry Together

I know some men could care less and that’s ok if they don’t really want to be involved in creating a registry, but they should still be included in the registry building process.

When I created my baby registry for our second baby, I went through our old things to figure what we need and ran these new items by husband.

With some items he did agree that we needed those new and some items he felt that we didn’t need to get new.

I also asked him if there was anything he thought that we needed that I might have forgot.

I wanted to make sure he was at least involved even if he didn’t particularly care about making a registry.

Invite Him To The Baby Shower

Once you have a created a registry, you will likely have a baby shower.

I know baby showers are considered a girly thing, but I believe that is slowly becoming a thing of the past as many couples are opting to have coed baby showers.

So not only are the moms being with showered with love and affection, the dads are getting showered as well.

We had a coed baby shower for this baby where his friends were also invited and I could tell my husband really appreciated it and genuinely had a good time.

Let Them Help With The Nursery

This is where men can feel wanted and needed because I can guarantee that you will need their help putting together the crib or painting the walls.

And what a better way to get them involved by having their help setting up the nursery that your baby will be residing in.

This was something that I had my husband help a lot more with when we had our first daughter, but with this baby, she does not have an actual room or nursery.

Instead, we created a nursery nook in our bedroom for her that she will be in until we move her into the room with her big sister.

Take Childbirth Classes Together

So the last tip that I want to mention for getting your husband involved in your pregnancy is taking childbirth classes together.

This tip was mentioned by Amy Johnson-Grass from Health Foundations and I think it is a great way to involve your partner in your pregnancy.

Especially if you are becoming a mom for the first time.

With this being my second baby, my and husband did not take any classes because we sort of know what to expect at birth since we have both experienced it.

But I wanted to leave this tip here for any first-time moms who would be interested.

Most hospitals offer childbirth, infant CPR, and breastfeeding class, so be sure to check with the hospital that you are delivering at to see what they offer.

Your Turn

Well, that’s everything I have been doing to get my husband involved in my pregnancy, so now I want to hear from you. What you have done to get your partners excited and involved in your pregnancy? Let me know in the comments below and while you are still here, check out my previous post below.

• Read More: Preparing Your Toddler For A New Sibling

Love,

Just Jass