How I Cope With Feeling Touched Out As A Mom Of 2

As a mom of 2, it is really easy for me to start feeling touched out.

For anyone who may be new here, I have an almost 2-year-old (22 months) and a 4-year-old.

So I have smaller children.

And I’m also a stay-at-home mom so this mama is in mom mode 24/7.

I can only speak from my perspective as a stay-at-home mom of 2, but there is a point by the end of each day when I start feeling overstimulated and touched out.

Between tending to and breastfeeding my toddler all day and then trying to tend to everyone else once my daughter gets out of school and my husband off of work.

It can start to feel like there isn’t enough of me to go around.

Because everybody is wanting a piece of Mama.

And I get it.

I’m Mama.

My daughters love their dad and spending time with him.

But I’m always mama and usually the preferred parent when it comes to certain things.

Especially when it comes to receiving one on one attention.

Ever since I had my second daughter, I can tell that my first daughter still craves that quality time with just me since I spend so much time with her younger sister.

• Read More: My Birth Story: Giving Birth To Our Second Baby

So I do my best to make sure that I’m doing that.

And then I’m also a wife.

So I’m also trying to make sure my husband and I are staying connected and on the same page because our marriage is just as important as our parenting.

• Read More: Reconnecting With My Husband After Having A Baby

Can you blame me for feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated after reading all that?

If you can relate to any of what I said above, then you are also probably a touched-out mom.

Which also means that you are looking for a way to relieve these feelings.

Well, I will be sharing how I manage when I’m feeling that today.

Here I will be sharing how I cope with feeling touched out as a mom of 2.

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What Does It Mean To Be Touched Out?

Before I dive into how I cope with feeling touched out as a mom of 2, I should probably talk about this.

What does it even mean to be touched out?

Well, based on the context clues in my intro above, you can probably guess.

It is essentially being “touched” too much.

Now when I say this, I’m not talking about bad touches or being touched without your consent.

I’m talking about the physical touching that comes with being a mom such as breastfeeding, cuddling, being tugged at, and even being groped.

If you are a mom, then you know exactly what I mean by the constant touching that occurs once you have kids.

I feel the writers over at Parents.com described what it means to be touched out best.

They described feeling touched out as being physically touched or needed by their children and their significant other for physical comfort throughout the day.

This then results in the parent becoming irritable and even resentful because they are missing out on their bodily autonomy.

And I can honestly say that is exactly how I feel when I reach the point of feeling touched out.

Before I became a mom, I wasn’t a touchy person, to begin with.

My love languages are quality time and acts of service.

So after having kids and then realizing how much kids (especially younger kids) crave physical affection all the time, it can be a lot sometimes.

Now, don’t get me wrong.

I love hugging, cuddling, and loving on my girls.

But I also love my space.

And this was something that I had to learn to balance as a mom and wife because when I’m touched out, I am not someone who my family wants to be around.

I’m an overstimulated, irritable hot mess.

In order to combat these feelings, there are a few things I do to ensure that I get my space while providing my family with the affection they crave.

With that said, let’s get into how I cope with feeling touched out as a mom of 2.

How I Cope With Feeling Touched Out As A Mom Of 2

Give Yourself Some Grace

The very first thing that I have to do when I’m feeling touched out is to give myself some grace.

It is very normal to feel touched out.

Especially as a wife and mom of 2.

I have to remember that it is normal that my girls would want to be up under me.

I’m their safe space.

I’m the person that they know can make everything better.

Their trust and love for me are why they flock to me and why they will constantly choose me.

When you think about it in this way, it gives you a different perspective to view from.

Which can lead to understanding and being able not to be as hard on yourself when you are feeling touched out.

Communicate That You Are Touched Out

The next thing you have to do is open your mouth and communicate that you are feeling touched out.

Don’t wait until you are yelling and overwhelmed to say something.

I’m really bad about waiting until I’m there before saying something and I have learned that it is not best to bottle that up.

• Read More: Healthy Ways To Release Your Bottled-Up Emotions

So when you are starting to feel that way, it is time to speak up.

It is time to let everyone in the house know that you are overwhelmed and need a moment.

Starting with your husband or partner.

Unfortunately, when many moms are touched out by their children, it can also affect the dynamic between them and their partners.

After being groped on all day by their kids, the last thing they want is to be groped on by their partners.

And this can often get misconstrued in the relationship.

While you may be feeling overwhelmed and touched out, your partner is feeling brushed off and possibly unloved because you are rejecting their touch.

The way to solve this is to communicate.

Communicate that you still love and adore them, but you are just feeling overstimulated and could use a little bit of time to just yourself.

This could also present an opportunity to discuss how they can help so that you can be more present with them.

• Read More: What Stay-At-Home Moms Need From Their Husbands

Redirect The Touching

While on the topic of communicating with our spouses, we need also to communicate that we may need a moment with our kids.

As I said above, I’m a stay-at-home mom to a 4-year-old and a 1-year-old.

This means that I’m surrounded by either 1 or both of my kids every day.

It’s not often that I’m alone without either so the chances of me being childless without a child up under me are pretty slim.

My 4-year-old is fully capable of understanding that when I say that “Mommy needs a moment to herself”, she can give me that space for a little bit.

But my 1-year-old does not understand.

So what I have to do is redirect the touching.

What I mean by redirecting the touching is giving them something else to do besides clinging to you.

Whether it is a play-based activity that they can do while you take a few minutes to unwind.

Maybe heading outside to let them play while you get some fresh air.

Or even passing the kids off to your husband for a little while.

Just something that you know will keep them occupied while you take some time to recenter yourself.

This leads up to my next tip.

Carve Out Time For Just Yourself

As I said above, the main reason many moms feel touched out is that they feel like their body is not their own.

So in order to reclaim your body, you have to make sure you are making time for yourself.

Especially my fellow stay-at-home moms.

It can feel much harder to do this because you are with your children the majority of the time, but it is so important that you are making time for yourself as a stay-at-home mom.

If you have been keeping up with the blog, then you know that I’m big on self-care for moms.

I have a post with some ideas that I like to do as a stay-at-home mom, but they are great for everyone.

I will share that post down below for anyone looking for ideas.

• Read More: Self-Care Ideas For Stay At Home Moms

Whether you are carving time out in the mornings, evenings, or even during nap time.

Make sure you are setting aside time solely for yourself to make you feel like just you.

Build Up Positive Associations With Touch

And my last tip for combatting those touched-out feelings is to build up positive associations with touch.

I stumbled across this tip over on The Bump and knew that I had to mention it here.

As I mentioned above, I have never been a touchy person.

Hugs and cuddles don’t bother me unless I feel like it is being overdone.

Which happens often with younger kids.

Most kids can’t help it.

They just love their mommy so much and crave that physical closeness of being next to us.

But as my fellow “not touchy” moms know, after a while, you start to want your space so you push them away or even become irritable when they want a hug for the 50th time that day.

For some moms who also love physical touch, this may not bother them.

But for the rest of us, we start associating touch with negativity.

Which as I said earlier, can also leak over into your relationship or marriage.

Some of the tips that The Bump provided were scheduling a professional massage, snuggling your baby for short periods without nursing them, and asking your partner to hold your hand for a little while.

Other things I like to do is snuggle my 4-year-old right before bed or when I have to wake her up in the morning for school.

I also like to cuddle with my husband on the couch in the evenings as we watch TV together because it makes me feel close to him.

It is so easy to think of touch as a negative thing when you are constantly being touched on, but when you start to create more positive associations with it, your perspective of it changes as well.

Your Turn

Well, that is how I cope with feeling touched out as a mom of 2. I want to hear from you all now. Do you ever feel like you get touched out? What do you all do when you are feeling touched out? Let me know in the comments and while you are still here, check out my previous post below. Until next time!

Love,

Just Jass