How To Cope With A Sick Family Member

Having to cope with a sick family member is a lot to handle.

Especially with what is currently going on.

This is a crazy time that we are currently living in.

When you really think about it, our own parents didn’t even deal with a pandemic of this magnitude.

None of us saw this coming.

Grocery stores limiting the number of people in stores.

Retail parking lots are practically empty.

Waffle Houses closed. (They NEVER close!)

As we have all learned this pandemic cannot be taken lightly as this virus spreads with more and more individuals being confirmed to have it.

A lot of people have been able to recover and go about their lives.

However, some people haven’t been as lucky and wind up getting sicker.

With this being said, I felt that it was only appropriate to discuss how we can cope with having a sick family member since our chance of knowing someone who might be sick has increased.

Whether you are dealing with a sick spouse, parent, grandmother, or a close friend that feels like family, I hope this finds you.

Here, I will dive into some tips on how to cope with a sick family member.

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How To Cope With A Sick Family Member From A Distance

Before I get into my tips on how to cope with a sick family member, let’s talk about what it is like coping with a sick family member when you live far away.

How can you care for a sick loved one when you don’t live near them?

Because that is also a reality that many of us are facing during this pandemic.

If your loved one winds up hospitalized due to COVID, then the chances of you seeing them while in the hospital are very slim.

So you are going to have to cope with their illness from a distance.

When I had a family member hospitalized from COVID, it was so tough because none of us could be there with her in her last moments.

It was devastating to our family, but we had to learn how to cope with her death from a distance.

A great resource for learning how to care for and cope with a critically ill family member is PalliativeDoctors.org

Their tips for caring for a loved one from a distance are:

• Facetiming and Virtual communication with your loved one
• Sending gifts to their rooms
• Having the doctor’s contact information for questions

So as you can see, there is not a lot you can do with a sick family member who you cannot see in the hospital, but anything is better than nothing.

When my family member got sick, there were two or three people who were the point of contact for her and would update the family with her progress.

This was more so she could rest and not be bothered with a ton of phone calls a day.

By my family doing this, we all could receive updates about her status without having to bother her throughout the entire day.

This worked for us all the way up the day she passed away.

Even with her passing, she knew that she was loved from near and far and we all will miss her greatly.

Now that I have shared my experience with coping with a sick family member from afar, let’s get into those tips for how to cope with a sick family member in the hospital.

How To Cope With A Sick Family Member

Be Angry And Cry About It

My very first tip on how to cope with a sick family member is to be angry and cry about it.

If you have read my previous posts about becoming a first-time mom and dealing with postpartum depression, then you know I am all about emotions.

Let them all out.

The easiest one is anger and you should be angry.

It’s not fair.

Why is this happening?

Every single thing that comes to mind, allow a moment for it to remain there with all the guilt that comes with it.

However, you and I both know that being angry about the situation isn’t the only emotion that is present.

Ever wonder why some people cry when they are really angry or upset?

It’s because the anger can only mask what is underneath for so long.

Sadness is an emotion that some people have a hard time with because of the physical act of crying but, sometimes you just need to cry.

Just as much as you are allowed to be angry, you can be just as sad.

Be sad that this special person in your life is suffering and you feel helpless about it.

It’s an awful feeling and one completely out of your control.

If you needed someone to give you permission to cry, you just got it.

Talk About It

Once you have gotten a better handle of all the emotions, it’s time to confront it which means that you have got to talk about it.

To dismiss and tiptoe around what is going on only harms that person.

Ask questions about their illness and what to expect in time.

This will give you back some of that control that you felt like you may have lost.

I know that this will be hard especially if you don’t like what is being said.

However, the more informed you are the better prepared you will be.

I know I wouldn’t go into a battle without the proper armor on.

If you want to help this person, put on that armor and get ready to fight for them, because they need you to fight for them.

With the proper information and tools, you can do just that but, you have to get informed first.

Find Some Joy About It

This can be a really sad time for this person because they are ultimately the ones who are really sick and dealing with these circumstances.

Of course, you should allow yourself to process your feelings and determine what to do about them.

But don’t forget to find joy in some of those small moments.

Not every conversation you have with them has to be about the illness.

If you were sick, would you want to talk about being sick all the time?

I didn’t think so and neither will they.

They talk about it enough with doctors and other individuals so make sure you’re informed as mentioned above so you can provide other topics of relief.

Talk about that episode of The Bachelor or even about that basketball game that came on last night.

Laughter is a form of medicine so find ways to laugh together.

If there were things that you both did together before they got sick, keep doing them if it’s feasible.

This will provide a sense of normalcy that you both could benefit from.

You can even create new experiences together that becomes a “thing” that you both do.

Don’t Forget About Yourself

This is really important.

Almost as important as being present for your ill loved one.

Don’t neglect yourself.

You matter too even in the midst of everything. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you do.

As I have said before, you want to help them right?

Help them by taking care of yourself.

You need to know your limits and boundaries so you are not wearing yourself thin or feeling burned out.

Make sure you are getting some rest and not missing any meals because this is really easy to do when you are worried about someone else.

Reach Out For Help

And the last way to cope with a sick family member is to reach out for help.

Seek help if everything is starting to feel overwhelming.

None of this is easy and you shouldn’t have to feel like you have it completely together all of the time.

Join support groups, lean into other family members and friends, and engage in self-care when you need it.

Just find some way to relieve yourself from it all.

Your Turn

Now that I have discussed how you can cope with a sick family member, I want to hear from you all now. If you are currently dealing with an ill loved one and wouldn’t mind sharing your tips on how you cope, please feel free to share in the comments below. We could all use some tips during this time and while you are still here, check out my previous post. Until next time!

• Read More: Overcoming Postpartum Insomnia As A New Parent

Love,

Just Jass